Softball Fun.

So I paid a visit to my good buddy, Gabe. Gabe lives on the otherside of the country and has a Rockford Peach project going. That´s right - a girls softball team! He called in the ringer to show them what is up. I was friendly, but took it way too seriously. Gabe spent the afternoon holding back, base hits and purposely missing fly balls. I sprinted around the bases, store down women and smacked homeruns. Seriously, Jimmy Dugan (manager of the Rockford Peaches) would have been impressed.

This is what happens when you warm up for a softball match with your friends sister. I threw a high ball, she went low - smacked her in the mouth. Crying, a little blood, me feeling horrible and icing it for her.
I think we all know what is about to go down.

Me stretching a triple into an inside the park homerun!

Jimbo don´t like defense.

The sandlot.

Post ball hitting incident. We are still friends!

Big Bad Billy Fenton´s and my reaction to Obama winning

Key to making a good joke... hold the pause - solid punchline

A Trip to the Urologist

Guys, don´t read this blog entry unless your in for learning about a weird medical issue I had...

So - not having water definitly sucks a lot more than having water. I have to haul my mater from my counterparts house in a large jug to my house (about a 15 minute hike uphill). Before drinking it, I bring it to a boil for about 10 minutes and then either let it cool or make tea. The Peace Corps nurse made me promise that I would chill out on my coffee intake because I have been having some dehydration problems. Now, I am not talking pass-out with heatstroke dehydration... I just need to drink more water. That mixed with drinking coffee gives you mad headaches and what not.

OK, so after months of living here one accustomes themself to the heat and thus doesn´t need to drink as much water, or, doesn´t feel the need to drink as much. This combined with it being a huge pain in the ass to boil my water everytime I drink - I have being trying to not drink as much.

Insert new medical problem.

So... for a lack of better frasing, my ´thing´has been hurting. If you don´t know what I mean by thing - stop reading this blog, you have been banned. So after two weeks of thing hurting going on, I contacted Peace Corps Med Office. They sent me to the urologist.

I show up to my appointment, and start talking about my ´thing´in Spanish for a good 15 minutes. The doctor does his examination, not awkward, while showing me a poster that labels the parts of one´s thing, the need for me to pull-up my pants took over. After all, it is my thing, not his thing. The doc didn´t seem too worried, but just to be sure he wanted me to go get an ultrasonido (ultrasound). Wow.

So, waiting in line with pregnant women, I start prepairing myself for getting my thing ultrasonifide. I change into one of those weird examination robes, get down on my knees and say a prayer. For 10 minutes that doctor uses the fancy controler to examine my thing... I watch on a television screen - we both are looking at the inside of it... so not cool.

Results come back negative for badness of my thing.
Nurse tells me to start drinking more water.
I have a week of medicine to take.

In conclusion, I talked about my thing with a nurse, two doctors had to examine my thing and everyTHING is cool.

Trying to make up for not being good at blogging

Me during training 2. Making stoves using dirt, buckets, cement and sticky stuff.
Election night in El Salvador! All the volunteers headed into the city. We took over a Gracias a Dias es Viernes (TGIFridays)

Me, my buddy Andy, Betsy and Gabe

Player Stats:

Andy - Municipal Development Volunteer

- Was a manager of a grilled-cheese eatery pre-Peace Corps

- Awesome

Betsy - Cool girl that knows how to roll with the dudes

- Municipal Development Volunteer

- Cool shades

- I have a crush on her mother

Gabe - Boston boy

- Rural Health Volunteer (like me)

- One of my partners in crime here

- Also has stupid idiot status

The origanl Rockford Peaches. We look good, but suck at playing.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

English class is fun!

Some of the crew election night. All are volunteers except for two Salvadorenas. Beth, in blue and Diana, in the black and white combo next to me.

Tybo with honorary beard status. He is just mad respecting me here.

Me demonstrating the typical hand-gesture for ´whats up?´in El Salvador. Fingers extendid, quick turn of the wrist.

This isn´t really that appropriate is it? Andy has awesome status.

"NO ONE CAN DO THIS! NO ONE CAN DO THIS!"

Post awesome cool travel Guat night, the founders of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat are heading back to the hostel to get some shut eye. Another tourist, 28 year old from Poland, who speaks english, begins freaking us out. To be more specific, he was freaking me out the whole night. We met at the hostel, he was doing his best impressions of loud jungle animals until the hostel manager informed him that he was freaking everyone out. We invited him to come out with us. He said he would come later - he got to the bar before we did... not sure how.

He started dancing with us. What I mean by dancing, is hitting on us... it got weird.

So in route for the hostel, this large Polish bro starts jumping up and down, swinging his arms up in the air and yelling ¨no one can do this! NO ONE CAN DO THIS!"

I am not sure if he what he ment by that... possible, no one can do what he was doing... or, no one would want to do it, or - he just hand know clue as to what he was saying...

Either way - we tried to mimic him. No one could do this.

Choose your words carefully, Persian!

Bagged Beer: Awesome Cool Travel Guat´s Way of Getting it Done.

So, not going to lie... I didn´t exactly have ANY money to do this trip. So, we had to be smart about our spending. This included, talking down taxi prices, eating street food for a week and bagging beers. Beers in bar - expensive. Beers in bags - economic, sexy and super neat.

Before heading to a bar to check out the night life in Flores, we stopped at a local tienda to make a purchase. While checking out, buying to large beers, the owner of the tienda informed us that we couldn´t take the bottles with us, we had to drink the beer at the store. Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat does not do store beers, we do road beers and bar beers that are not bought at the bar.

Solution:
¨Si udsted podria echar las cervesas en una bolsa para que podamos pasearnos en la calle seria maginico" - Jimbo talking game
If you would be able to pour the beers in a bag so that we can chill out in the street it would be awesome!
"Como no!" - Owner
Road beer in a bag? You guys rock.

The store owners wife came out, double bagged us, and we started pouring. A crowd surrounded us - Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat made beer bag history in Flores, Guatemala.

Armed with a bag of beer, 3 straws and awesomeness we went bar for bar not buying drinks. It was never a problem, because everyone knew that Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat likes jokes, dancing, yoga, Brittany Spears and bagged beers.

Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat´s Excellente Experience

Fregando en Guate!

Bienvenidos, bienvenidas a todos y todas! Lo siento por being very slow to put up new/exciting blog entries, however, I assure you - this entry will rock you!

Saturday morning, 7am - Jimbo throws his oldschool travel pack in the luggage compartment of the greyhound bus headed for Guatemala City, Guatemala. His trip has started... he is, to say the least, excited.

I land in La Cuidad de Guatemala at around 1130am, barter a taxista for a cheap ride to the airport, where I am supposed to meet Chris Bitonti and Jeff Allen at the exit.*

*After days of careful planning, we had agreed to meet at the exit... sounds pretty easy - we are very stupid.

After an hour of waiting for both hombres, who have should have landed and been at the exit waiting for me, I start to get very, very nervous and most importantly, cranky. Finally, from a short sea of Gautemalans, emerges a gringo that I know. It is, in fact, Jeff Allen.

Awesome Cool Guat Travel Player Bio
Jeff Allen - College buddy
- Working in the DC area
- Speaks Spanish
- Stupid idiot

Jeff and I embrace, he spots Chris Bitonti outside of the airport waiting for us. I would like to thank Chris once again for sticking to our oringal plan of NOT leaving the airport so that we could find eachother easily.

Awesome Cool Guat Travel Player Bio
Chris Bitonti - College buddy
- Working musician in Los Vegas
- Speaks 3 languages (two of which are imaginary)
- Stupid idiot

Loud yelling, high fives, bro-hugs (standard) with an audience of 200 plus locals watching our every move - that trip of a lifetime has commenced! We track down a van that will be heading to Antigua, negotiate a price and head up to the parking structure to head out. We jump in the van, and blinded by the excitement of chillin out vacation style with buddies, we don´t notice that the man throws our gear in the back and then heads back down to the airport exit to grab more tourists.

An hour later.

We realize that we won´t be leaving anytime soon. We also realize that we have a deadlie. Our plan is to get to Lago Atitlan. The problem is that one needs to take a boat to arrive at the hostel that we have reservations for. We meet up late and have been waisting more time sitting in the van without moving. We grab our gear, sneak away, find new taxi, three hours later we arrive in Antigua.

4pm - 99 percent of the vans leaving for Lago Atitlan have already left. We pass toursit center for tourist center looking for a ride. Score - we land the last van of the day! To celebrate Jeff and I leave the center to grab some Guatemalan coffee. While leaving I notice that Chris is still stairing at the man who helped us. After a 10 second pause of silence, Chris throws out the only spanish word he knows, queso.

Jimbo - ´gracias por ayudarnos, amigo´
Jeff - ´muchas gracias, hombre´
(we leave)
10 second pause
Chris - ´queso´
Dude who helped us - (stairing awkwardly at Chris) ´ok´

Four hours in a jam packed van with other travelers. No one talking, except, of course, Jeff and I. Everyone hates us, I think Chris farted once, but we arrived JUST in time to take the last boat running for the night! We get to the dock, and while waiting for the boat, we make some friends with some local hombres. They are suprised we speak Spanish, they like this, they give us a few shots - Saturday night is guys night out!

Rocky boat ride. Pitch black dark. We arrive at the hostel ´La Iguana Perdida´(The Lost Iguana). After a long day of traveling, emotions running high, the night only gets better! Immediately we are greeted by a girl who works there, she takes us to our room, informs us that dinner is over but then invites us to the kitchen to eat all the left overs we wanted!

Time to start partying. This hostel is famous in Central America for the cool vibe. It is ran cruize ship style in that all the guests hang out together, day excursions, group meals, and night activities! Saturday night - cross dressing party. Before introducing ourselfs to the other people staying at the hostel; Chris, Jeff and I decided to change into women´s clothing. We walk into the dining area where all the other guests are only to find that we are the first people to have changed into the appropriate evening attire - we are the most popular people at the joint.

Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat, in the words of Pink, gets the party started. Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat beers, Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat high fives, Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat dance moves. Within 30 mins, everyone else has changed and we are mixing it up. We quickly become really good friends with 6 people.

Insert, Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat Additions:

Jess - from the States
- college girl
- coolest girl just about ever

Meghan - from the States (friends with Jess)
- college girl
- cranky

British People
Luke and Carey - Traveling while in love
- Cool ass accents
- Call cigarettes ´tabs´
- Luke likes techno, Luke and I are friends because of this

Canadians - 2 young stupid idiots taking a trip through Central America
- like dancing
- like Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat´s sense of humor
- stupid idiots

With our powers combined, that night, while wearing women´s clothing, we made an Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat decision. We swore the other travels in using beer, dance moves and beat boxing - we spent the week traveling as an international team of stupid idiots... and we did well.

Chris, Meghan, Jess, Jimbo, another girl, and, of course, Jeff in front. This is a majority of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat. Picture on the side of the road with Lago Atitlan in the background surrouned by moutains.
More roadside pics of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat, roadside, on the way to a Guatemalan market.


Jimbo, decked out in an authentic Guatemlan shirt (bought for 2 bucks at the market). Me stetching in Tikal. Tikal is famous for its Mayan ruins. We left for Tikal at 330am after a night of dancing with Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat at a local bar until 230am. I was tired, dehydrated, cranky but doing everything I could to kick Mayan Ruin butt. Here, I am either performing an acient Mayan ritual, or trying not to get sick.


Cute girl that I dont know, Jimbo and Canadian #1 (I know these guys names, but find it fun calling them Canadian 1 and 2). An a ferry that travels 15 and a half feet while on our way to Flores, Guatemala. This ride was an all day trip in a van full of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat and other tourists. Jeff and I made the trip loud by singing and playing sweet travel games like ´bother everyone else in the van´.
While at one of the roadside police checkpoins where they search for fruit. Jeff and I started making the most out of the situation:

Jimbo (pretending to be a policeman): "You guys been doing some fruit today?"
Jeff (playing himself): "Uh... no, no, we would never do that"
Jimbo: "Because it looks like you guys have been doing some apples... how many apples you guys been doing today?"

Swedish man, traveling with his with, is visibly laughing... more of a hardcore chuckle, his wife does not find us or his incouragment amusing. This conversation continues for 4 hours.





Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat enjoying Lago Atitlan. We took a boat to a place where one can cliff jump. I will admit, I was scared to do it, not wanting to jump and hit rocks. Luckily, an old local was sitting near the jump and I asked him what he thought. His response:

"Si hombre, se puede saltar del baranco... las ninas aqui lo hacen, pues"
(Yeah man... you can jump... the little girls here do it)

The man called me out on my manability... no one calls me out on my manability. I jump from the 15 meter cliff and smack the water. Post jump, while falling to my possible death, I start yelling "ohhhhh shhhhheeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt!"
Apon immerging from the water, realzing I didn´t die, I start acting like one of the many little girls that jump from the cliff. Swimming doggy style, smiling and yelling "look dad, I did it! Dad did you watch? DAD, DAD WATCH ME!"






Jeff, Jimbo and Chris. We decided to all jump at the same time. Much like the meetup at the airport, things went wrong.
"OK... I am going to count to 3, on 3, we jump" - Jimbo
"OK man, I think I am rea" - Chris
"Uno, dos, tres vayaaa" - Jimbo, cutting Chris off

Jeff and I jump, Chris yells something like QUESOOOOOO and follows us. Later, Chris confessed that me counting in Spanish to three messed up Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat´s decision to do the bro jump. Jeff and I performed the jump perfectly. Judging by the picture, Chris decided to not jump, and in turn, did his best Chris Angel Mindfreak impression and started floating up in the air. The jump ending with us yelling and Chris and I colliding.






Me with some honorary Roadside Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat brohams. We did the two dedos up to let everyone know how much fun we were having. Post foto these two knuckle heads charged me a quater for the picture...



Second night at the Iguana Perdida. Chris and I rocking out on the guitar. Luke (left) being British.



More roadside fun, Chris rocking out his headband that he bought. Post purchase, at no point during the trip did Chris remove his headband - quite the rockstar! After buying the headband in the locals market, Chris befriended a 12 year old local vendor... the kid started helping Chris with his Spanish and just hanging out. This slowly turned into the kid using his best skills to make Chris buy something. This caused the punk to be banned from Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat - banned for life. I told the kid that we would not being buying anything from him. This resulted in him telling me that I am a bad person and then storming off while yelling "shit" in choppy English.

Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat chillin out on the steps of one of the ruins at Tikal! Chris and I our struggling through our post fun night out cranky tired time...

Founders of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat. Chris with his headband. Jeff rocking the authenic Mayan gear, Jimbo lost in his beard.

Us stairing at a big piece of rock pretending to know the meaning behind it. We had no money to pay for a tour of Tikal. Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat decided to try to just follow a tour and steal all the little tidbits of info. Within 14 seconds that tour guide informed us that we had to leave. There was a silence, some awkward stairing and then us leaving.

Me trying to pass for a local in the market. A beard in Central America makes you feel like Paris Hilton, because everyone looks at one without being able to speak. Add in me speaking local dialect Spanish and these people are blown away.

Meghan, trying to not be cranky, Canadian #2 and me. Canadian #2 showing the hand phone, cutting-it-out with some scissors.

Same pic as before but with a twist. Chris and Jeff holding hands. This made the rest of our excursion very weird... I felt very ´third wheel´.

Me doing my best to make Chris jealous. Dancing with Jeff while at a bar in Flores... not weird, right?

All of Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat at the Iguana Perdida. Dude chilling out in the yellow pants is the scuba instructor - Awesome Cool Travel Team Guat doesn´t do scuba - we do AWESOME!

Fin.

All in all it was a perfect trip. We literally planned nothing and enjoyed everything... it was a no stress trip with not complaining (minus Meghan who was always cranky). So many great memories, so many wonderful conversations. Life is defintily changing, but it is great to know that after 8 months of being away from everyone that it takes 2 seconds at an airport to feel completely at home with your bro´s as if time has stood still!