Bull Sh@t: A Fecal Matter

Hello my fellow gringos! Another week has gone by, bringing another Sunday, in which I am able to make reflections and order coffee while I use the internet.

For starters, bull sh@t* is not a joking matter, it is a serious matter, a rural matter, and withoubt a doubt, a fecal matter.

*bull @hit can also be spelled: shi@, shi@, and @hit

I spent Saturday morning with my house mom trying to complete my cenus of the community. There are two houses in my community that are 'off the beaten path' - which is really interesting because my site is 'off the beaten path', which means that these houses are off the beaten path of the beaten path - more or less this means these houses are seriously in the middle of nowhere.

Anyway, I had just finished a census, and was returning to my place. This requiers walking up a foothill of a moutain, crossing a small river and just all together enjoying life, needless to say, I was enjoying myself. My sister was leading the way, I was drafting behind her while my mom here was in third place. We had just crossed a fence, only to be met with a team of torros (bulls). Being that I am in El Salvador, and this is a pretty common occurance, I thought nothing of it and started to walk past them. Little did I know that one of those bulls was planing... planning something great.

Looking back, I saw it all happen right in front of me. This bull was cautiously waiting, waiting and thinking, planning, waiting and oh yes, thinking! My sister was five feet past this lil' bastard when all hell started to break loose. This meant that I was directly in the eye of the storm. I was staring at the cows eyes and noticed his face was strainging. This was followed with the bull either performing kegel excercises and/or trying to rip a nasty fart.

What passed after this, can only be related to by Mae Saul and those who have visited Yellowstone National Park. This bull opened up old faithful - directly on me. It was a storm of feces, mixed with a concert of flagelants in what was without a doubt Bose System surround sound. I will compair it to the movie "300" in which the fighting was so brutal that the arrows blocked all the light from the sun. This is exactly what happen, with the exception of replacing arrows of death with arrows of poop. Plants died, children wept, and I gagged trying to determine which parts of me were not drenched in what looked like pourage.*

*It did not smell like pourage.

After I thanked the bull, I began to run for the nearest stream. In which I transitioned into a four year old in a rain storm, jumping up and down splashing water all over my body yelling, "is it over yet? Please GOD, let it be over!" This was followed by my second bath of the day, and me retelling my tell of how a bull through its poop on me.

I am well, I am finally clean, but I will NEVER be the same (fecally speaking).

Jimbo