We all know that dogs don´t speak English or Spanish, nor any human tongue for that matter. Dogs love, and are loyal. They are silent listeners and even though they may not understand they do offer one trait that is almost impossible to find amongst ourselves – complete lack of judgment and complete willingness to give love regardless of whether it is returned or not.
At many points in my Peace Corps career, as odd as it may seem, I had dog like characteristics. I spent months upon months walking through dusted streets, passing house to house, nervously walking up to people. Only wanting acceptance, but facing the constant fear of rejection. I often found myself sitting in a safe corner of a small house surrounded by people that were very different from me both physically and culturally.
Wanting to feel the warmth of human presence, many times I would tuck myself in that safe corner and just listen. The vibrant glow of the fire that slowly cooked our bean dinner. Its reflections dancing on the dirt floor. The shadows of our bodies escaping the waving flames heading into the dark night. Especially within the first months of my Salvadoran experience, the words that I heard while eating, while walking the streets, while sitting in that corner at night trying to understand the stories being told, it all just seemed like odd noises to me. Without the ability to understand I was forced to let go. For the first time in my life I became a silent listener that may not have understood but also did not place any judgment.
For thirty months my neighbors, friends and family here have given me everything. Food, coffee, conversation and most importantly a sense of belonging even though I never quite completely fit in. I feel that the love that the people that I have lived and worked with have given me has been offered without the need for compensation. It was love offered for the sake of love, even though in many ways I was never completely able to return it.
The trust given to me by over 500 community members that taught me the meaning of loyalty. The thousands of non-rushed conversations accompanied by a Salvadoran rainy day. The swinging of a hammock and the brilliant smile of a nearby neighbor as he welcomes me to join him. The comfort of silence. In many ways, it was all perfect. Even the imperfections, they were perfect too.
El Salvador has taught me so much about who I am. I have a new self confidence. I hope no one can see it. It is just for me. El Salvador has taught me to love and appreciate both the simplicity and hardness of life. My experience here has taught me about love. It has taught me to love myself and accept my failures and not let them consume me. El Salvador has taught me that life goes by very quickly and that each moment spent not being thankful for all our gifts is an opportunity to be truly happy wasted.
I guess I haven´t really learned how dogs know Spanish, sorry Billy.
But I have learned that it is possible to be completely different from everyone around you, living in conditions that most would consider below-standard, and in spite of it all be completely happy.
And with that, it is time to go home.

Muchas Gracias, El Salvador.
Jimbo Leddy
Rural Health Specialist
March 2008-July 2010
United States of America Peace Corps
Rural Health Specialist
March 2008-July 2010
United States of America Peace Corps
6 comments:
Overall I would call ur trip a failure. This was not about you.... it was about me getting the anwser to my question when you got back..... dont expect any hellos or any "hey jimbo lets go running" when u return.
B
Damn bro. Great entry. I'll miss you. But you know that.
Peligro
Ah, who am I kidding?
It's me, G
You’re welcome.
Never forget you´ve got the gift of making people’s life a lot better.
Very proud of you.
El Salvador loves you.
Miercoles,
Jim. I'm proud of you. Your Spanish speaking skills have no doubt improved vastly since our last encounter, and for that I'm jealous.
Even more so, your insight into expanding your own personal self confidence after 30 months of incredible hard work and fighting natural disaster, is something, like you said, you should just keep to yourself. I know Hannon never spoke about that after coming back from Uzbekistanigan, and he's the least confident weasel I know.
Welcome home sir.
Salud y Vida.
Jefe
First of all, that was beautiful.
Second, they do speak Spanish, I'm taking you back with me to figure it out.
Finally, you finally wrote something without intense grammatical errors or spelling errors, I feel like you haven't been faithful to your quest to get so good at Spanish you forget English, but either way I congratulate you.
I'm glad I met you, and so are all of my Salvadoran girls.....
Have fun!
Christina K? Who are you? I know more than one Christina K?!?!?
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