Tuesdays with Malaria

Tuesdays with Malaria:

The Peace Corps takes the health and safety of its volunteers as priority number uno. To make a comparison, if a Peace Corps Volunteer where an international airport, the national security color would always be red (as opposed to green or orange). Have you ever been at the airport and heard that the terror threat is at orange? When I hear that I know that we are only in a little bit of trouble. So I only drop half of my stuff, and take off down the terminal screaming with tears running down my face. This ends with three flight attendants helping me to my seat, and a mid-flight visit to the cockpit where I receive wings and a chance to “fly” the airplane.

Anyway, with safety in mind, we are given medicine and vaccinations on a weekly basis. Tuesdays are with Morrie… I mean malaria. After dinner every Tuesday, I pop two pills that will apparently save my life.

Possible Side Effects of Tuesdays with Morrie are not limited to, but may include: upset stomach, loss of appetite, mild to server drowsiness, receiving pennies while trick or treating, loss of hair for men, mild hallucinations, bad dreams, super powers, bad presents on Christmas, inability to come with the terms that she is just not that into you, and horrible blog entries.

But on a serious note, I take this stuff every Tuesday night and it gives me the worst dreams ever. I have dreams that there are gang members in my room, and I wake up reacting like a 7 year old kid and run into my parents room to sleep for the night. I come to just in time to realize that my parents are a 64 year old Salvadoran couple who don’t speak English, and that I decided to sleep nude which made the walk back to my bed really embarrassing.

In conclusion, this medicine stinks, and I hate the side-effects.

But at least I still have Tuesdays with Malaria to look forward too.